the lovely beast

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I'm torn up
alive yet dead
smiling yet crying
being a sober yet drunk
very calm yet disturbed.
A lovely beast, with sweet voice, and unknown rage.
Holding onto my pieces just hide myself from the world.
Living in chaos yet so alone.
Wanting warmth with a fear if getting burnt.
Crying in the cold,being others' sunshine.
Want to scream to death, then you face flashes.
It's hard being different!
It's hard being suppressed !
Controlling the rage which makes me afraid of myself...
You shout at me, but I can't....
Looking at the sky I wonder
Why me?

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