Missgrey

As i stand  And waves wash my feet Tears roll down my cheek Realizing solitude never felt this brutal Shells are not bright And the sunset seems so dull Bliss all around , and I'm drowning in blue.  Not a smile to be seen nor a tear to be found. A ringing and I black out, a phase which was over has reappeared. Walking through the shore Nature nurtures me  All I feel is cold. The sunshine has disappeared  Taken over by grey overcast.  Never did i think the sea would make me wail. Never did I long for company this bad, But the poison has taken over.

You ask me what am I? A paranoid, anxious person yet so crazy. Scared of people while being one of them. Silencing the voices in my head. You call me a kid, well yeah I am And I want to be, scared of nothing, with no insecurities. Having anger issues with a sensitive heart hidden behind the mask of ego. You ask me what I feel and I go blank. You stare deep into my soul and I black out. A childhood filled with trauma, I cope with humor. Something I want you to know but won't say it out loud. Carrying a smile as heavy as the  responsibilities on my shoulders. I walk upto you with confidence, in no time you make me quiver. You might not give me what I want and yet I chase. Call me an idiot well maybe I am Always irrational and silly, Running behind things i can't get. Having a mask on all time, a peek at my eyes and the truth is out. A sunshine hidden behind the grey outcast. You ask me what am I and I  . . . . . . . Long time No post!!! 

Under a smile, you ask me to hide the pain.... As if the bandaid will make the wound disappear.  Don't cry it will weaken you down You frown.. Just gulp the pain And smile you say.... I smile and you're not satisfied... I can't be myself, i can't cry when I'm sad But I'm just a lad.. I have to be so loud so  Your ways aren't questioned.. A mask i put on so bright So happy and right . No one cares to look throught it And, I have to smile  to save your pride.

You know me. Only you know me. Why does it have to be like that? Why, you I am same with everyone  Yet you know me better than myself  From a stranger to something special  From finding the best solution to make me feel safe  You know me too well.  I'm the most comfortable with you, even to say the most embarrassing thing. This feeling so lingering  There sure is something.  The shine in your eyes calls me  Your voice soothes me. Being my safe place A shoulder to cry on A hand to hold onto Feeling of being sheltered Makes me never wanna leave. First line credits : PRANEETHA

Hey! Pretty stranger, so anonymous  Yet made me starstruck.  Beautiful hazel eyes Filled with shine.  A little help, oh so sweet. Turned into a heart throb so soon And made me swoon. For once i wished we went to the same place So unknown you are yet i wanna chase. Those intoxicating mind made  Me loose my mind  So soon, you left  But your scent stayed.  Soooo, i met a cute stranger on road and coincidentally we shared a auto for 5 min, he did a sweet help, and the prettiest eyes.....and we'll never meet again

Now that its gone it feels like it was never there. And when its here it geels like it never left. It's like grey taking over the sky, and blue taking over my mind. Everything so dim and low  even the rainbow seems off. My cries so loud, unheard. A masked face i carry.Dramatic. From afar the brightest. From close just grey. A feeling that i dont belong here and am unseen. My silence so quiet,no one notices. And if you ask, "I'm great". It's a cage, hard to get out off and easy to get into. A trap so deep, never ending, nothing is helping. For love and warmth I beg, the winter i receive.....  Heyy!! Well its back......

Meeting you was coincidental  Liking was a choice Its been two years, the storm has settled. The rage is controlled.  Scared of the world, wandering. Though so far we're near We never know what the future has in store for us. Now it is what is, the present,  The feelings uncontrollable, masked carefully. It's been two years and i still find the same innocence in those eyes. That childish giggle, oh so sweet. That pretty please face, is all i need. Its been two years of us together in some way or the other. Hope this lasts forever, if it exists